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Inside outside

What good is it if the outside of a bowl is clean but the inside is dirty?

Today my friend said that I was one of the best-dressed people he knew. It's weird but I did not enjoy hearing that at all. It actually really bothered me. You'd think that, what with all the effort I put into looking good and dressing to reflect my insides, that I'd like to hear that I look nice. But I didn't. It made me feel terrible. Isn't that silly?

See, the thing is that I don't spend lots of money on my clothes. My favorites are from Value Village. I don't want to be remembered by how stylish I am. I guess I just have some weird innate sense of style. And I mean, I like it and all. I like looking good. But part of me doesn't like to be seen like that. I don't want to be the person that everyone sees and thinks, "oh, that Michelle, she always looks so good and together". That would make me really sad if that was how people saw me. I fear that is the way things are though.

I would just like to state, for the record, that I am not all together and I do not look all nice and classy inside. I'm just as confused and mishappen as everyone else is inside. Isn't that a weird thing though? That I want people to think I look nice and stuff, but then when they notice and say something about it I feel all self-conscious and wish that I could just blend in with everyone else. It's silly. Maybe I should ask God to take away my classiness and make me boring so I won't have to worry about it. Who cares what we wear? I don't think I care nearly as much as people think I do. I'm in the process of giving away a good deal of my clothing and planning to adhere to a strict clothes-buying-fast for the forseeable future.

What's the point of looking nice on the outside if it isn't a reflection of the inside? I wish people wouldn't judge each other, or me for that matter, by the outside. It sucks that way.

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  • Blogger donna says so:
    10:08 a.m.  

    michelle, i love you for you who are on the inside...and that makes you beautiful on the outside too. top

  • Blogger Kelela says so:
    8:37 p.m.  

    Dearest.. I love you as well for the insided and out. Thanks for being my friend. Thanks for lending me the book. I am enjoying it so far. Love you. top

  • Blogger Lisa says so:
    1:22 p.m.  

    michelle, just take it as a compliment and run with it. like these girls have said, you are beautiful on the inside as well. it just manages to come out in how you dress and carry yourself. don't sweat it. top

  • Blogger Michelle says so:
    1:25 p.m.  

    bagh! fine...

    :) top

  • Blogger Michelle says so:
    1:26 p.m.  

    now I feel all silly... top